Redux: A Penis Shaped Like a Musical Instrument

By: | April 13, 2018

We haven’t had a post in our occasional ‘Thank God It’s Penis Friday‘ series in quite awhile, so here’s one that we first published in 2013. Warning: images in links may be unsuitable for some. (Oh who am I kidding? Images in links may be unsuitable for most). 

By the time dermatologist Sanjeev Vaishampayan met his patient, a 45-year-old father of four, the man was in a bad way. Antibiotics had taken care of the infected lesions on his legs, but now the man had a new and mortifying problem: His genitals were bulging and bloated. “The scrotum was huge and its contents could not be palpated,” Vaishampayan observed. What’s more, the man’s swollen penis curved sharply at the tip. Vaishampayan had no trouble coming up with a diagnosis. This man had a clear-cut case of saxophone penis. Continue reading →

Ass Holes in the Desert

By: | April 12, 2018

Non-native species get a lousy rap. Now don’t get me wrong, often they deserve it. Between the nutrias, peacock bass, eucalyptus trees, and lionfish of the world, environmentalists have a right to be a little xenophobic sometimes. But there are a few exceptions. Honeybees, for instance, are quite handy. Plus Emma’s wattle-necked softshell turtles, if for no other reason than their amazing name.

And then there are the ass holes of the Sonoran desert.

The border between the United States and Mexico has countless ass holes these days – far more than we had 50 or even 20 years ago. In fact, you could say that ass holes are on the rise. And while some people may be concerned by the number of ass holes along the border, I have begun to see it as a new reality. It’s something that we simply have to get used to.  Continue reading →

Science Journalist Has Complete Thought About Procreation

By: | April 11, 2018

Last Thursday, The Atlantic published an essay of mine called “How I Talk to My Daughter About Climate Change.” It was about, well, exactly that, but it was also about how parents talk to their kids about all kinds of scary things—from climate change to terrorism to our current global politics. I hoped it made some points that would be new to people, but I didn’t see it as particularly provocative or controversial, especially because at its core, it was about something almost every parent faces.

So I was surprised to discover, later that day, a post on the right-wing site The Daily Caller headlined “Science Journalist Considered Not Having Children Due to Climate Change.” (I won’t link to it here, but it’s easy to find.)

Gabrielle Okun, the site’s “Wacky/Offbeat/Strange News Reporter,” apparently thought my essay had buried the lead. To her, the news was my almost offhand comment that I had thought about climate change when deciding whether or not to become a parent. Here’s how Okun’s post starts:

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Redux: Cinderella and the Cinema Hangover

By: | April 10, 2018

Last time I was in my hometown of Seattle, I walked by the movie theater I worked at for many years in the 1990s and 2000s and found it permanently closed. Being sad and angry about changes in Seattle is kind of a thing, but I wasn’t just upset about a piece of the city–and my own personal history–rotting (until it is replaced by million-dollar condos). I was sad because the Guild 45th was the perfect movie theater in which to have a transcendent movie theater experience. Two single screens in separate buildings with art deco style, giant marquees, and the intoxicating perfume of decades of popcorn and old carpet. She will be missed.

Here’s a post I wrote in 2015 about the transcendent experience of going to the movies, lightly edited:
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Why I’m Blogging Again

By: | April 9, 2018

I don’t expect anyone to notice, but I’ve been on hiatus from Last Word On Nothing while I focused my attention on writing a book. With the book finished, I’ve decided it’s time to start blogging here again.

My return wasn’t a given. Time away from LWON was an opportunity to contemplate whether I should continue. I wrote about why I blog back in 2012, and as I’ve considered when (and whether) to return, I’ve revisited my rationale for writing here. 

It turns out, those original reasons stand the test of time remarkably well. They also feel like an explanation of why I’ve missed blogging.  Continue reading →

The Last Word

By: | April 7, 2018

April 2 – 6, 2018

Nobody claimed Google’s Lunar X prize for going back to the moon, says Rebecca, and though China and India did/will get to the moon, “private moon exploration is a no-go.” Turns out going to the moon is hard.

The lady in the log cabin whose collected stuff went up over her windows? Ok, Sarah will put up with you diagnosing a hoarder, but the lady loved the stuff.  “The problem is not that we care TOO much about stuff. It’s that we do not place enough value on the stuff we already have.”

Craig, living in the country’s south 40, wanders around in abandoned houses, picking up this and that, putting it down again, archeologizing the recent past, disrupting its private memories.

OMG! thinks the astronomer, that bright spot was never there before! Notify the community! Turns out that it was Mars, oh dear.  Guest Chris Lintott says that astonomers’ networks are increasingly informal, even twittified.

Sally’s twins had scarlet fever, scarlet fever is back, creeping around everywhere, it didn’t go away after all or at least it didn’t stay gone.  What changed?  Probably not the zombies.

Why are people getting scarlet fever again?

By: | April 6, 2018

The fever and rash appeared the day before we were scheduled to get on a 747 from London to New York. Twin 1’s face was a streaky, sickly red except for death-pale stripes around her mouth. I knew what I was looking at, because Twin 2 had just finished the last of her 10-day course of liquid antibiotics. We had our second case of scarlet fever.

“I wouldn’t recommend flying,” the GP told me, modelling characteristic British understatement. “Airline policy is that if you board a plane with a condition you were previously aware of, and then your illness requires an emergency landing, insurance won’t cover you. You’ll be on the hook for the cost of the unscheduled landing.” She doubled down on the understatement. “It could get expensive.”

It took me a moment to digest the unspoken reality behind the advice. “Sorry… “ I said incredulously, “but that means it’s legal to get on an airplane carrying a Victorian disease?” Continue reading →

Guest Post: Astronomer’s Telegram Rediscovers Mars

By: | April 5, 2018

Early on 20th March, professional theoretical cosmologist and amateur astrophotographer Peter Dunsby of the University of Cape Town was imaging a beautiful part of the sky, in the constellation of Sagittarius. When you look at this part of the sky, you’re staring toward the centre of the galaxy, and your view is filled with beautiful nebulae and clusters. Dunsby was using a small telescope, with a lens just a few inches across, yet he saw within it something that shouldn’t be there – a bright, new object, glowing red next to the nebula itself.
Dunsby checked previous images of the same region, both his own, from a few weeks earlier, and from the Sloan Digital Sky Survey, a survey of the sky carried out a decade ago from an observatory in New Mexico. Neither showed any sign of the object, and so Dunsby took the next, obvious step. Something as brilliant as this object – brighter than all but a handful of stars – would soon be spotted by others; only by announcing quickly what he’d found could Dunsby secure the credit. More importantly, the only plausible explanation for such a bright transient would be a supernova in the Milky Way galaxy, in which case observations while it was still brightening would be essential.
Dunsby turned to the Astronomer’s Telegram, or ATel, service to announce his discoveries. These bulletins, issued to observatories around the world are web based, rather than physical telegrams, but their terse reports still attract the same attention you’d expect if a uniformed courier rapped on the door. Early next morning, astronomers all over the world were reading of what Dunsby had found, and deciding whether to interrupt their observations to follow-up the discovery of the century.
Forty minutes later, a second telegram – number 11449 – was released. It was brief: ‘The object reported in ATel 11448 has been identified as Mars. Our sincere apologies for the earlier report and the inconvenience caused.’

Continue reading →