Snark Week: Evil Has a New Name – and Buck Teeth

The sun hangs low over the bayou, wavering in the humid evening horizon. Sweat pours off your face as you struggle see into the underbrush. And suddenly you hear it. A rustling in the bushes that turns your veins to ice. “Please, sweet Jesus,” you whisper, “be something else. Please, not here. Not now.” But […]

Introducing Snark Week, Vol. 2

Welcome to LWON’s second annual Snark Week! In celebration of the responsible and informative shark documentaries on basic cable this week, we have decided to offer five counter stories that will frighten you even more than a great white shark that’s been artificially driven into a frenzy by cameramen chumming the water. Remember, just because something […]

Snark Week: The Souless Flesh-Eating Kea

In the Southern summer of 2004, my then-girlfriend and I were camped in a shelter near a rock climbing area in New Zealand called Flock Hill. It was a gorgeous landscape, sweeping grassy hills made famous as Rohan in the “Lord of the Rings” and glacial erratics from the final battle scene in “The Lion, […]

Snark Week: Don’t Pet the Ants

It’s small, it’s fuzzy, and it hurts like hell. Variously known as the “cow killer,” “mule killer,” and “motherf-ing thing that just stung me,” the velvet ant packs more pain per pound than the meanest great white. Don Manley, a professor emeritus of entomology at Clemson University, recalls his run-in with Dasymutilla sp. as the worst […]

Snark Week: Hoppin’ down the bunny trail–to hell!

Their fur is so soft. Their paws are velvet. And the twitch of their little noses can send people into paroxysms of baby talk. But behind that cute little “bunny” is a fearsome rabbit, ready to destroy everything in its path. Yes, the true nature of the rabbit is starting to come to light.

Snark Week: The Gribble

What is the most fearsome animal in the ocean? Is it the great white shark? The deadly stingray? The Megalodon? No. It is the Gribble. A gribble is an adorably chubby wee crustacean about three to six millimeters long. It has seven pairs of legs and four pairs of appendages sprouting around its mouth. And […]

Snark Week: The Rooster and the Puppy

In 2006, a puppy came to live on a small farm in Colorado. His name was Oskar, and he was the runt of the litter. Oskar was a playful little guy, but on one fateful autumn day, he would learn that he was living in the dark shadow of a blood-thirsty assailant. In the days […]