Disclaimer: chiggers are not actually insects as the title suggests, but arachnids, and insects are not a kingdom, but a class. I personally classify them all together into one creepy kingdom of small mechanical exoskeletal pests up to no good. They wear their skeletons on the outside and inside are nothing but goop. They bite […]
Snark Week
Welcome to Snark Week 2018! Not all cute-but-scary animals are biological. Allow me to expand the remit of Snark Week to include the dreaded CryptoKitty. Adorable and fluffy? Absolutely. Existentially dangerous? Most certainly. This creature packs a triple punch. Once critically endangered, it is now trying to claw its way out of jeopardy – on […]
Welcome to Snark Week 2018! Many years ago I worked as an environmental consultant for developers looking to meet and/or skirt federal and state regulators. People used to tell me I was on the leading edge of environmental work – where the rubber met the road. It didn’t feel that way. Mostly I felt like […]
It’s been another year full of terror and destruction and to celebrate everything that makes us afraid, the Discovery Channel is hosting its annual fear fest, called Shark Week. But we at LWON have always felt that fear of sharks is just a cheap and easy way to tickle our amygdalae. And while we may […]
Welcome to Snark Week 2017! “Dirty . . . disgusting . . . filthy . . . lice-ridden boids. You used to be able to sit out on the stoop like a person. Not anymore! No, sir! Boids!” The dialogue comes from the Mel Brooks movie The Producers. The super of a walk-up is […]
Welcome to Snark Week 2017! A peaceful summer day. A glittering, blue lake and a sky full of billowy clouds. And on the path below, a young woman rollerblades. She zips from side to side, enthusiastically mouthing the words to “Baby Got Back.” Then, out of the corner of her eye, a glint of something […]
Welcome to Snark Week 2017 A few years back, the Norwegian comedy duo Ylvis asked a foolish question. A question best left buried in the deeper recesses of the mind, or thousands of feet below the ground, or at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. And they sang it so casually, in a goddamned music […]
Were I to fall and die in my kitchen some unfortunate morning, my youngest dog, Geddy, would definitely eat my corpse. Maybe not that very minute, but pretty soon after I slumped to the floor he’d be nosing around, checking my pulse. He’d probably give me a couple of hours to rise up from my […]