This post originally ran November 22, 2016. In 2015, the National Institutes of Health announced the end of invasive chimpanzee research in the US. The agency had dramatically scaled back the program in 2013, and NIH director Francis Collins reported that due to lack of demand, he had decided to allow the remaining animals to retire as well. “It is clear […]
Cassandra
This post originally ran March 22, 2016. But it deals with a truly timeless topic: male masturbation. Gents, are you prone to fainting fits and epilepsy? Are you lacking “balmy and vital moisture”? Do you have weakness in the penis? Has your seed spawned sickly babes that either die quickly or always complain? Then you […]
This post originally ran April 25, 2017. It’s almost Earth Day again, and litter still seems like the least of our environmental concerns. On Saturday, Earth Day, I went for a run. About a mile in, I came upon a bald, middle-aged man. He wore a leather jacket and a Bluetooth headset. I was perhaps […]
Q: I’m so sorry to hear about your stepmom. How are you? A: Oh, thanks. I’m fine. I’ll be ok. A: I’m managing, I guess. A: Yeah, it has been hard. It was so sudden. A: I’m . . . I don’t know. I’m coping, I guess. I have a bunch of mints in my […]
On January 9, I went to the gym and did a chin up. Here’s what should have happened next: The clouds should have parted to allow a single beam of light to cast its golden glow on my body. Winged trumpeters should have surrounded me. Confetti should have rained from the sky. A flash mob […]
My grandma died yesterday morning. She did not go quickly or painlessly. It was not what most would consider a good death. Difficult, heart-wrenching decisions were made. I want nothing more than to write about how her life ended — about how the system failed her, about how the system is failing so many people […]
This week we’re celebrating the holiday by looking back on some favorite posts about snow, cold, and ice. This post originally ran Nov 20, 2014. On my way to the dry cleaners, I passed a gaggle of highschoolers on their way home from class. The high was 16 degrees yesterday, and the wind made it […]
The holidays can be stressful. So stressful you lose sleep. Maybe you need Placidyl. This post originally ran February 5, 2013. Ahh, the 1960s. A simpler time when women wore pant-skirts and insomnia could be cured by the soothing sounds of Liadov’s Musical Snuff Box. Well, not quite. Flip open this album and you’ll find a two-page […]
