This post originally ran March 22, 2016. But it deals with a truly timeless topic: male masturbation. Gents, are you prone to fainting fits and epilepsy? Are you lacking “balmy and vital moisture”? Do you have weakness in the penis? Has your seed spawned sickly babes that either die quickly or always complain? Then you […]
A few weeks ago, I started watching the eight-part series Our Planet with my daughter. I thought it would be a good alternative to cartoons. “Ahh, a nature documentary,” I thought. “She gets to watch TV. I get to feel like she’s learning something. Win-win.” I was so wrong. The show delivers spectacular footage and […]
This post originally ran April 25, 2017. It’s almost Earth Day again, and litter still seems like the least of our environmental concerns. On Saturday, Earth Day, I went for a run. About a mile in, I came upon a bald, middle-aged man. He wore a leather jacket and a Bluetooth headset. I was perhaps […]
The original version of this post ran June 2016. I’ve added an update to the end. In 2001, Dean Spath was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer. He had surgery to remove his prostate, and for nearly a decade, Spath appeared to be cancer free. Each year he would visit the doctor to have a blood […]
Q: I’m so sorry to hear about your stepmom. How are you? A: Oh, thanks. I’m fine. I’ll be ok. A: I’m managing, I guess. A: Yeah, it has been hard. It was so sudden. A: I’m . . . I don’t know. I’m coping, I guess. I have a bunch of mints in my […]
On January 9, I went to the gym and did a chin up. Here’s what should have happened next: The clouds should have parted to allow a single beam of light to cast its golden glow on my body. Winged trumpeters should have surrounded me. Confetti should have rained from the sky. A flash mob […]
My grandma died yesterday morning. She did not go quickly or painlessly. It was not what most would consider a good death. Difficult, heart-wrenching decisions were made. I want nothing more than to write about how her life ended — about how the system failed her, about how the system is failing so many people […]
This week we’re celebrating the holiday by looking back on some favorite posts about snow, cold, and ice. This post originally ran Nov 20, 2014. On my way to the dry cleaners, I passed a gaggle of highschoolers on their way home from class. The high was 16 degrees yesterday, and the wind made it […]
