July 23 – 27, 2018
Oh my goodness gracious sakes alive and it’s Snark Week, LWON’s answer to the blithering obviousness of Shark Week, We bring you the creatures that are infinitely more likely to do you wrong.
Erik warns you about the burrowing owl, a creature of a vast underground crime syndicate who decorates his house with the bodies of those he’s killed.
Sally’s creature is the CryptoKitty, the unlikely, energy-sucking outcome of a merger between Bitcoin and Beanie Babies: “Are you enjoying the northern hemisphere’s nuclear summer? You want more? Then by all means, invest in a CryptoKitty.”
Craig, lover of all things natural, never much liked bugs. It wasn’t until he met chiggers though, that he learned to hate them: “Insects, though I am amazed at your existence, even the most exquisite of you are disgusting.”
Sarah has spent time around sea birds, most of which poop and ralph on each other and her, but which are charming compared to the stormy petrel. I’d post the picture but like all photos of stormy petrels, it’s covered in blood.
Poor Becky, trying to grow annuals in posts. Poor geraniums, poor dusty miller, and oh the poor, poor coleus — all uprooted, tattered, dying because of those rat bastards, the squirrels.