Free AI Lesson Plans

I’ve been playing around with the AI text-to-visual generator Midjourney, whose iterations on human words make the user feel they are working alongside a true collaborator. The results are impossible to direct but full of ideas that are a few associative leaps away from the prompts I give it. There’s no other way for me to think about it except that the network is taking artistic license with the subject.

Last week someone said a phrase that resonated with me, and I couldn’t wait to get home and see what Midjourney made of it. They were talking about the process of selling a business, and they said that if you just float with the tides generated by investment bankers and accountants, it will ‘crash you on the rocks of rich and sad’.

Above is the image Midjourney created in a few seconds to that prompt. Behold the wreckage of your business sinking beneath the waves as you wash up on a pile of gems and rubies, rich but cast away from everything you care about. I know a few people in this sort of position and I would be surprised if the image doesn’t strike a chord with them.

This sort of platform is super intuitive and could be picked up by a child at this point. That’s why my friend Briana and I have been developing free lesson plans to introduce students to AI concepts so that they can grow up to shape the technology, not just to use it. If any teachers you know might be interested in introducing AI concepts in their classroom, they’re welcome to test out our activities. I’d love to hear how it goes:

Grade 4-6 — Turing Tests

Grade 7-8 — Supervised and Unsupervised

Grade 9-12 — GANs

Summer Bliss

My sister and me, on our very own path.

Yesterday I went down to the river with my sister – the only rational activity in this godawful heat wave – and we waded in up to our waists, squinting into the late afternoon sun. We swam until our blood cooled, then perched on a rock midstream, watching the green water spiral away in eddies and ripples and sparkle all around us. 

Across the river, a family was camped out on the beach under a pop-up tent, kids in floaties, dad casting his line far out into the current and smoking a joint. Someone was grilling and it smelled amazing, a mix of barbecued meat and hot blackberries. (When it’s 103 degrees here, as it’s been for several weeks now, or close to it, the blackberries smell like cobbler, or more precisely, like the burning sugar that sizzles on the bottom of my stove and sets off the smoke alarm, every time.) 

We toweled off and sat on the shore. Inspired by Cameron’s post, I had brought a peach with me, my first one of the summer. I started to eat it while Adrienne read aloud from the book we’re currently reading about Buddhism, aptly named Don’t Take Your Life Personally. I didn’t used to read many books from the spiritual or self-help sections of the bookstore, but these days I’ll take all the help that I can get. Besides, there’s at least some evidence that meditation is good for neurotic people like myself (or at least, not worse than a placebo.)

Now, Adrienne and I don’t have a spotless track record when it comes to spiritual development. Several times, when we have tried taking yoga together, I have laughed so hard that I cried, been forced to leave class, or peed my pants. But we have the best intentions.

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Birds, Singing, Everywhere

Can you find the crow?

In October 2019 I wrote about the moment when I realized that I can tell the difference between a fish crow and an American crow. Here’s the short version: A fish crow sounds like a crow, but instead of saying “caw!” it says “uh-uh.” I heard a crow say “uh-uh.” Eureka! Fish crow!

The almost three years since October 2019 have been pretty weird. I don’t love the concept of pandemic silver linings, because the pandemic has been so awful in so many ways. But for me, a lot of good things have come from this time, too. And one of them is way more awareness of bird songs.

It started in the earliest days of the pandemic, when the only thing I could do to get away from my home/office every day was to take walks around my neighborhood. With less sound from cars, the trees nearby were revealed to be filled with bird song, and I started wondering what I was hearing.

I knew some before the pandemic. I had mourning dove down, and wood thrush, and mockingbird. But that weird spring and summer of 2020, I figured out some more. Robin. Murderous blue jay. And how had I lived most of my life in cardinal territory without knowing what they sound like? I don’t know, but I did it. I learned the Eastern wood-pewee and the white-throated sparrow.

The learning really picked up in the summer of 2021, on a visit to northern Michigan. That’s the first time I tried out the app Merlin, which can identify birds by song – and right away, it told me that the weird gull-like sound I’d been hearing from the tree tops was, fittingly, a merlin. Suddenly, my bird-song-learning accelerated. I could ask my phone what I was hearing and get an immediate answer. I learned that red-eyed vireos are everywhere. I learned that blue jays make a vast array of different sounds. And, after many repetitions, I finally learned that if something is singing a loud, fast three-note song in D.C. or Maryland, it’s a Carolina wren. It’s always a Carolina wren.

This level of knowledge isn’t very impressive. I am personally acquainted with people who could stand under a tree in spring and name all of the migratory warblers overhead, while I’d be going, “hey! guys! I think I hear a robin!”

But this level of knowledge is incredibly satisfying.

On Saturday, I came out of my local grocery store and was starting the walk home when I heard a call overhead. It had that nasal scratchiness of a crow. It was a single syllable, not the characteristic “uh-uh,” but somehow, I knew it was a fish crow. I scrabbled around in my bag, under the bulk peanuts, and extracted my phone. Merlin agreed. I’d recognized a fish crow by its voice. I stood there a while by the busy intersection, marveling at this big black bird perched up there on the utility pole, making its dinosaur sounds. The crow eventually spit out an “uh-uh,” like it was supposed to.

It’s just a crow. But it’s also a sign: All that listening and learning I did over the past few years made the world around me a little more interesting, a little more detailed, a little more real. Here’s to learning lots more bird songs as I go.

There’s the crow

Photo: Helen Fields

Zee Lady

Awwwww yeah, it is peach season again! I am so happy! And I am so peach-silly that I can only think about peaches, so I am returning to this post from 2019 while I recover. One update: I have not made a peach pie since. Last week I made one from apples instead. Save the peaches!

*

Confession time: I used to be a peach hater. What was wrong with me? (It’s a question I often find myself asking.)

Part of it was the pit. When I first saw a peach cut open, I was a kid. It was summer, and I was at a swimming pool. The pit looked like a tiny withered brain. A brain that left bloody marks on the peach flesh all around it, a brain that came out smeared with yellow slime.

A friend told me that the pit was poisonous. In my mind, the poison infused the whole peach, becoming a deadly pink-yellow time bomb, my own forbidden fruit. (It’s true that a peach pit contains amygdalin, which turns into hydrogen cyanide once you eat the pit—so don’t eat peach pits!—but you’d likely have to eat a lot of them to have real problems. This woman ate as many as 40 apricot pits and survived.)

I’m not sure that I ever tasted that swimming pool peach. The peaches that I had tried came from cans. They were orangish, slimy, far too sweet. Much later, I also tried Boone’s Farm Fuzzy Navel, which seemed pleasant enough at the moment, less so the next morning. Swimming was involved again, this time off a houseboat into the Delta. And so, once again, queasiness and peaches were linked, this time without the pit.

My dislike of peaches even extended to imaginary ones. I loved all of Roald Dahl’s books—Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda, Danny, the Champion of the World – except for one. How creepy it would be, I thought, to travel in a giant peach? (Our very own Rebecca Boyle wrote about a study that found that this massive fruit would actually have needed 2,425,907 seagulls to tote it across the Atlantic.)

Luckily, peaches aren’t that big. But they are fuzzy. What were you supposed to do with all that fuzz? Researchers looked closely at the fuzz, called trichomes, and found that these small hairs both keep peaches from drying out and protect against moisture from the outside. The fuzz may also keep insects from landing on the fruits and laying their eggs on the surface. It did not seem to help protect the giant peach from the assorted giant insects that James finds inside it.

PEACH PITS MAKE GAS MASKS, SAVE THEM. (National Archives and Records Administration)

Then last summer we got a few peaches in a farm box. I set them out on the table, looking suspiciously. “Oh, I love peaches!” said one little voice. “I love peaches too!” said another. “Me too!” Who were these children? I thought I’d protected them from the important things—scary movies, clowns, the scarier news–but it turned out that peaches had slipped through the cracks.

But they wanted to eat something! That I actually had! This was unusual. So, I cut into a peach.

The pit didn’t seem too scary this time, and fell right out of the fruit. I’ve since learned that peaches can be freestone or clingstone—or the in-between semi-freestone. There’s much less goop on the freestone peach pits, although I’ve heard the clingstone peaches might be smaller and sweeter.

The kids ate it up and wanted more, so I cut up another peach. And of course, whenever I’m making something for them, I always eat a little bit. I wasn’t testing it for poison, I’m usually just hungry. I didn’t die, and it wasn’t even that fuzzy.

Now, you wouldn’t recognize me. I was at the produce store on Friday, talking to the woman at the register about the difference between the organic local yellow peaches and the pesticide-free Zee Lady peaches. The Zee Ladies are more complicated, she says, and they’re her favorite. I am back again on Sunday, buying more Zee Ladies.

Last summer I even made a peach pie. It was good—after all, you can’t do too much wrong with butter, sugar, and flour. But it seemed like it was missing something. It didn’t taste much like a real peach does, which doesn’t need sugar or butter to be delicious. The pie didn’t have something essential at its center, like a peach does—the pit, the stone, the brains of the peach, doing its genius work of holding everything it needs to grow another tree.

*

Image by Flickr user Sarah under Creative Commons license

On My Way to Burning Man

Burning Man Approach copy

This post originally ran in September of 2014 and I’ve not been back to this wild desert party since.

I’ve just returned from Burning Man, a Mad Max bacchanalia in the desert of western Nevada. I went to see what my civilization was up to, what fiery pinnacle we’ve invented. I also wanted to see it in context, which is why my time at this 69,000-person conflagration was only part of a larger journey.

I began with a crew of six in a barren rock mountain range north of  Burning Man, and we spent six days with backpacks traveling south toward a rising glow on the horizon where at night you’d normally see only darkness. Our route took us along the shorelines of ancient Lake Lahontan, which peaked around 11,000 years ago as glaciers melted into the end of the Ice Age, leaving most of northwest Nevada underwater. Continue reading

Helen and I Smack Down Unhappiness

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This first ran in August, 2016, and then it ran again a year or so later, because the recipe for mint lemonade had an important update. It’s had no updates since because Helen and I have not gotten together because, you know. And I’m re-upping it now because it’s hot out and I don’t know how else to talk about summer heat, specifically mid-Atlantic summer heat. Not that everyone else’s summer heat isn’t also impressive and unbearable and I suppose will be getting more so. Luckily, Helen and I have discovered the cure, the antidote, the perfect response, and I feel I should share it as often as possible.

Oh my but it was hot.  The sun stayed out, the humidity kept climbing, the air was flat-white and dense, walking through it took more effort than it was worth.  The temperature was in the upper 90’s, heat index in the upper 110’s, and they stayed that way for days.  A cardinal sat in the graying lilac outside my living room window, its beak open, panting.*  A hummingbird appeared on the feeder and drank and drank and drank, I’ve never seen one sit so long.  The garden flowers were wilting, the whole garden seemed to be having a lie-down.  Unhappiness had seized the world and nothing was going to get better.

But in case it did I wanted to still have a garden, so I put out a spot-sprinkler, like a fountain, near the birdfeeder.  About ten minutes later, the air was full of little birds, going to and from the feeder by flying through the sparkly water like hot-dogging jet fighters.  After a while, the sprinkler water began running in a small stream in the trench outlining the garden bed, and a sparrow sat in the stream, fluffing his feathers full of water.  Later I looked out the window and now the lawn was full of adolescent sparrows and goldfinches, ten or fifteen of them, just sitting on the grass in the sprinkling water.  They were talking interestedly to each other but otherwise they sat still, letting the water cool them, like tiny brown nesting hens, like little rabbits hunkered down in the wet green grass.

And later still, the doves came, landing in the grass, swoosh bump.  One of them, then another one, then another, lay on their sides with one wing lifted, their wing feathers spread out, cooling one side and then flipping over to the other.  They looked less like birds than like yoga class.

It reminded me of the weekend before — just as hot, this was a long heat wave – when our Helen came to visit.  We share an interest in sitting on the porch and talking to each other and to passing neighbors while Helen knits.  The porch was breathtakingly hot, so we prepared ourselves by making mint lemonade.  Helen had had it in Saudi Arabia and found a recipe; we thought we’d try it.  I borrowed a blender from a neighbor, Helen and I picked mint, I squeezed lemons, Helen measured the water, the demarara sugar, and the ice cubes, and we put the whole thing into the blender.  It blended up nicely, the sugar melted, the blender had a spigot, and we spigotted that mint lemonade into glasses.  It came out brown,** the color of pond water.  It was not what we had in mind.  So I poured it back into the blender and meanwhile, Helen had an epiphany, a moment of sheerest genius:  “Blend and spigot at the same time,” she said.  The lemonade frothed into the glasses, an icey, slushy, foamy light green.  By the time we got it out onto the porch, the foam and liquid had separated, and now it looked like pond water with scum.  We didn’t care any more, we drank it, out there in the heat, and it was the exact counter to the heat, cool and vivid; you could believe in the goodness of life again.

A neighbor, a young woman pushing her little girl in a stroller, came up the sidewalk.  This young woman had a demanding full time job, as does her husband, and the husband had to travel this weekend so the woman and her little girl were on their own.  The little girl had got strep throat, and then the young woman did.  The two of them were recovering as best they could and decided some fresh air might help them recover more.  But they didn’t consider the heat and by the time they walked up to the porch, the baby was pink and sweaty, and the young woman was pale, with two red spots on her cheeks.

Helen and I leapt into action, got the little girl a popsicle, brought out the rest of the mint lemonade, and sat with them under the ceiling fan and said soothing and boring things.  After a while the young woman said, “This is so refreshing.”  Then she said, “I feel so much better now.”  And the next day she told me that she was completely recovered and that the mint lemonade was what cured her.

So this is to say, unhappiness in one form or another will surely seize the world again but things do get better.  A little sprinkler, a little mint lemonade — it might be good to make a list of these things — and things really do start looking up.

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*UPDATE:  I just saw this in Science News and knew you’d want to know it: “Birds can’t sweat, . . . and the many species that pant as a cooldown technique have to compensate for the water lost in the process. Birds let their body temperatures rise to heights that would cook a human, and Wolf’s work has shown that this tolerance lessens water loss.”  Did you get that? birds let their body temperatures rise to heights that would cook a human!

**UPDATE 2: A neighbor said that some drink she made with demarara sugar was kind of brown.  So the brownness, which is not agreeable, of mint lemonade might be mitigated if you use regular white sugar.  I’ll try that next time.  Also, demarara is also called turbinado.

UPDATE 3: See previous redux, with a plan for the next update, whenever it might be: white sugar + blend the mint and sugar together before adding ice. We’re gonna get this right, I promise.

The forbidden boat

In the early mornings now, instead of scrolling the news or mulling over a Wordle, I check the wind speed and direction. If it’s from the East, I multiply by two. I run along the Rideau Canal, watched by the same worryingly-tame heron every day, and by the time I get to the lockmaster’s house the sun has fully risen.

I will have seen maybe six people in those 30 minutes, but the next stretch through the Byward Market is the most populated. Someone is passed out in the middle of the (pedestrian) road, embracing a pilfered potted plant. By the time I get to the homeless mission, it’s all “fuck you!” from one side of the street and “fuck you!” like an echoed loon call, from the other. Then on past the Chinese embassy, which since COVID has been missing its around-the-clock vigil of Falun Gong protestors.

The Starbucks opens at 6, which means if I time it right I can pick up a latte for my walk through the chichi part of town. Rockcliffe for a long time was designated as a village inside of Ottawa in order to avoid being subject to the city’s administration. As a result, it remains a sylvan oddity with massive lot sizes and no sidewalks. My mother had to learn the rural curriculum there as a child because she was officially inhabiting a hamlet, identifying cow breeds at school but raised far from any farm.

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queen bees and geniuses

Every morning, I wake up, make myself a cup of coffee, and open the Spelling Bee. For the uninitiated, Spelling Bee is a word game published daily by the New York Times, and the concept is delightfully simple: you are given seven letters arranged in the shape of a honeycomb, and you try to find as many words as you can by combining the letters in any order. Words must be longer than four letters, and they must contain the letter in the middle of the honeycomb. The longer the word, the more points you get, and every day, there’s at least one “pangram,” which uses all seven letters.

Toddy, comic, mood
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