Live-Tweeting🚀the🛰️Space💥War😠

I first wrote this November 29, 2021, but I could have written the same take-home many times since and I could write it now. I mean, Elon keeps putting his Starlinks all over space, plus OneWeb and Planet and Jilin-1 keep putting all their satellite constellations all over space, plus the National Reconnaissance Office just announced the number of its spy satellites is going to quadruple, I mean, the graph line of the number of satellites beginning in 2022 was heading straight north, hundreds of thousands of satellites. And those satellites can reproduce out there because every time one of them gets blown up, on purpose or not, the explosion creates a zillion (someone knows the number, I don’t) more things in space. And astronomers already have to look between bright lines of garbage to find stars. And hasn’t human incontinence already created the Anthropocene clusterfuck on earth, do we really need to re-create it in space? Some days I understand what God had in mind with the Flood. I mean, unlike Paramecia, Homo doesn’t learn; just wipe ’em out and start over.

Twitter, 11/15/2021, 7:42 a.m.  [Time zone? Who knows.] 

A German satellite watcher says Russia hit one of its own old spy satellites, Kosmos 1408, with a missile and blew it to bits.  I wanted to say “blew it out of the sky” but the satellite was of course in orbit so the exploded bits don’t fall down, they stay in the sky, still orbiting. 

The German watcher says 14 bits, debris objects, have been tracked and though “my  unofficial source has been pretty reliable on topics like this in the past,” the whole event is still unconfirmed.  An American satellite watcher who’s also an astronomer adds that Kosmos 1408 was, and all its pieces might be, in a 465 x 490 km orbit.  The debris, he added, will almost certainly intersect with the orbit of the International Space Station. 

And, as it turns out, the ISS crew had already been told to expect eight minutes-worth of “debris field transit,” to get out of the space station and into their little lifeboat modules, every 93 minutes.  NASA later posts an audio with the usual flat, factual voices, “ Hey Mark, good morning sorry for the early call, we were recently informed of a satellite breakup, need you to review safe haven procedure; read back; that’s a good read, we’ll let you know when to start; sounds good,” and another flat voice says, “thanks for the heads-up.” 

And finally confirmation: a newspaper space reporter writes that a commercial satellite company called LeoLabs “spots a field of objects where the Kosmos 1408 satellite used to be.”  The U.S. Space Command issues a press release, saying it’s working on it and it’s notifying everybody else with satellites not all of which can maneuver out of the way.

Then a good fraction of Twitter notes that other countries, including ours, have done this kind of satellite skeet shooting before, which accounts for the million billion gazillion pieces of debris going over 17,000 mph, circling the earth like a giant cloud of bats out of hell.  If you run into one of these bats, depending on its size, it can either knock a hole in you or turn you into another debris event.

This kind of thing is against the rules which are more like “we really should avoid doing these kinds of things shouldn’t we” than they are enforceable regulations in real treaties.  Turns out neither the U.S. nor Russia can get treaty discussions on their busy calendars.

Information slowly pings into Twitter:  Kosmos 1408 was an electronic signals intelligence satellite launched in 1982 and has been dead for decades, the missile came from Russia’s launch site at Plesetsk.  For a while Twitter, some of it writing in Cyrillic, wasn’t sure whether the missile launch, the tracked debris, and space station alert were all part of the same story but eventually settled on, yes,  they are, and said an American space policy expert, “it was beyond irresponsible for Russia to do this.” Later the same expert, seeing evidence that Russia had announced the missile launch, said “well shit.”  Twitter now fills up with national security (natsec) writers linking to articles they’d written several years ago saying exactly this kind of thing might happen. 

The satellite watchers discuss the size of Kosmos 1408 – huge – and the amount of debris it broke up into and how big the pieces are and what percentage of the pieces are too small to track but big enough to hurt.  They think the debris will stay up there for 6 months to a year, some of it up to 10 years.  They note that some of this debris can get kicked up to very high orbit where it will see little reason to come down.   Another space policy expert says that over 600 other satellites are in the same orbit as the debris, and that the space station has actually had to move. The State Department enters the room, using the words, “recklessly” “dangerous,” “irresponsible,” “disingenuous,” and “hypocritical.”  A space news reporter says the State Department also says it won’t tolerate Russian actions but won’t say what “not tolerate” means.

Natsec writers who have been on this beat since shortly after there were satellites, link to more articles.  Apparently the missile, a kind named Nudol, has been tested 10 times before but never actually blew up a satellite and a Russia expert suspects that maybe Russia just wanted to know if Nudol could do what it was designed to. The Russia expert also says “It’s not as if they didn’t know where the debris will end up. Or as if nobody could predict the kind of backlash that Russia is definitely going to get.” A different Russia expert says that anyone surprised by this hasn’t been paying attention for the last 20 years.

An academic tweets a simulation of how Kosmos 1408’s debris field will evolve with time.  A little bright splot arcing over the earth gets stretched out into a bright fuzzy line, which develops a tail that gets longer and longer and increasingly breaks up, the pieces at first aligning with each other, then aligning less and less and starting to wander into a self-colliding, self-perpetuating cloud.  One of the Russia experts asks if anyone has yet pointed out that the whole event is probably Russia’s response to what’s going on at the Ukrainian border? “Someone must have,” he says.   An astronomer says, “This seems . . . really bad?” Another one says, “At least it’s slightly lower than HST,” the Hubble Space Telescope.

A newspaper reporter talked to the head of NASA who said he didn’t think the Russian space agency, Roscosmos, knew anything about this and are probably appalled – after all some the the ISS crew trying to get out of the way were Russian.

Twitter, 11/16/2021

The astronomer/satellite watcher says he suspects the smaller bits are already “littering Starlink orbits.” A Russian natsec writer quotes a Russian news story quoting a Russian general saying it was “no big deal, did not violate anything, and now US military will be able to push for more money.” An American natsec writer quotes TASS quoting the Russian defense minister saying, “It hit an old satellite with precision worthy of a goldsmith. The remaining debris pose no threats to space activity.”  The Russian writer reports on a Russian simulation of the debris cloud, showing the path of a single white dot intersecting with a single blue dot but not at the same time and well above it.  The Russian policy expert tweets that if the cartoonish simulation is the best the Russian Ministry of Defense could do, it should count on not being taken seriously, not that it cares.  An American natsec writer answers, “For realz,” and adds a rolling-eye emoji.

American senators and the British space agency tweet concern etc. The Russian policy expert says to keep in mind that Russia isn’t really interested in destroying US military satellites, it’s mostly worried about US weapons that can hit Russian targets on the ground and in space.  The head of NASA tweets that he expressed dismay to the head of the Russian space agency, who tweeted something in Cyrillic that was translated as “there’s no point in yelling at me,” and the NASA head said they agreed to move past blame and make joint plans for how to dodge 1500 pieces of space debris for decades.  An American natsec expert tweets that he doesn’t think it’s a coincidence that Russia is now massing troops on Ukraine’s border, and the Russian policy expert tweets, “I knew it, I knew it!”  The EU tweeted concern. Various tweets discuss whether the lack of rules for a space war might be compensated for by norms, and how countries could define bad anti-satellite missiles against good missile defense.  These tweets could have been preserved whole from the 1980s.

Twitter, 11/17/2021

The UK has tweeted concern, and an academic military historian quotes a Russian diplomat telling the UK, “Besides, look. You together with the US blocked negotiations. At the same time US left no doubt that it was going to weaponise outer space. Did you really believe that under the circumstances Russia would refrain from developing technologies to counter this threat?”  Replies to that tweet pointed out that the same argument has been going on since the Reagan administration.

The U.S. Space Command links to the opening scene of Gravity, with the ISS blown to photogenic bits and Sandra Bullock tumbling helplessly in space.  A lot of tweets invoke the Kessler Effect and I will steadfastly not look that up, I can figure it out.

Twitter, 11/18/2021

The commercial space company says that Kosmos 1408 was less than 100 km above the ISS and 100 km below many satellite constellations.  It added a little graph showing the debris spreading out between 300 and 800 km.  It said it was tracking 253 pieces, likely the largest ones, and that the total number of trackable pieces should be between 1250 and 2500.  They said they’d start generating “conjuction messages.”  Reuters said that China said it was too early to comment.

Twitter 11/19/2021, 11/20/2021

Twitter has moved on.  The debris cloud got bigger and went higher. Twitter discussed whether the missile hit the satellite from behind or head-on. An American academic referred to the commercial satellite companies’ latest simulation and tweeted, “The whole episode is bad news.”

🚀 🛰️ 💥 😠

The point being that 1) this is just the most recent in a long line of small, nasty battles in the long-simmering Space War I wrote about a while back; 2) peace through diplomacy either isn’t working or is working too slowly to keep up; 3) so this kind of thing will keep happening.  The other point is, 4) it’s an excuse for me to wander around the satellite watchers again, the hobbyists who aren’t paid or commissioned, who watch satellites because why wouldn’t they, and who publish it all so the rest of us knows what’s going on.  And the point after that is, 5) Twitter turns out to be a remarkably good source for reporting the news about satellite watching.   I did nothing, called no one, just sat on the couch reading Twitter. And given the lack of reporting and fact-checking, and the general Twitter-credibility, this post is surprisingly not-wrong.

UPDATE: 11/30/2021: A Brit satellite watcher says that the orbits of the trackable pieces don’t intersect China’s space station but are “closer to the danger zone” for the ISS. And a space reporter says that some Starlinks have had to dodge debris. And NASA announced that it had cancelled the astronauts’ space walk from the ISS because of the possibility of debris, though it declined to speculate whether the debris was from Kosmos 1408. One of these fine days, this is going to stop being funny.

UPDATE 12/13/2023: In mid-March of this year, 16, two expert satellite watchers say that the ISS once again had to dodge Kosmos 1408 debris, missing it this time by less than two kilometers. And November 15 2023, Space Twitter (sourcing unattested) says Kosmos 1408 added to low-earth orbit 1,500 pieces of debris. Also that the space companies signed a statement saying they hoped governments would stop skeet-shooting their own satellites but as far as I could tell didn’t mention shooting other governments’ satellites. One of these fine days, this is going to stop being funny. Did I say that already?

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Picture credit: NASA. It’s real data, that stuff is really all up there.

Puppet shows for the AI


A place is set at a lavishly decorated table. The drape of the tablecloth is just so. Light twinkles off fine crystal goblets. Two nicely-dressed people take their seats. One of them pours wine into his companion’s goblet and passes it to her. She takes the cup, takes a sip, and smiles.

Cut. The elaborate lighting and multiple cameras power down. The actors get up and change out of their costumes. The set is disassembled. This wasn’t the opening scene of a 2 hour rom-com. This was the movie.

That’s because this film wasn’t intended for human consumption. It was more like a puppet show for AI.

AI has learned a lot – enough to make six-fingered-but-otherwise-realistic photos and give you plausible answers in the medium of text (which should always be fact checked!). But it has no idea what any of this stuff means, as you probably know from reading the reams of AI coverage that has proliferated in the past year. It hasn’t got a clue about the semantic meaning of images of cats or ladies or cat ladies or a treatise on Boulangerism in 19th century France or “what is a Christie Aschwanden“. That’s no obstacle to spitting out confident content, though, and because it has been trained on such a colossal amount of data, it intuits which word to put in front of another word mostly correctly, the way you might put one foot in front of the other to shuffle around a pitch black room. Occasionally it steps on a rake.

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What’s the Story?

Sometimes a photo from the past calls out, demanding a story. In this case, no one is left to tell it. My mom (right) died in February 2006, tragically of a brain tumor at 67 years old, and her older sister (left) followed in 2010, her heart failing her (plus, dementia). Here they are, the sisters, Roberta and Judith, a moment of youth captured. I have so many questions. Did they really both get root canals at the same time? Did they have a spat that included punches or slaps? (I doubt it.) Is one making fun of the other’s dental-related misery? If so, I’d guess my mom is the jokester, the actress, knowing their personalities. But oh, those faces, both so serious. So moody in black and white. Maybe the root canal story is the right one.

Which of my grandparents took the photo? I’m assuming it was one of them. Were they smiling at the potential silliness of it, or feeling someone’s actual pain? Was it the girls’ idea to pose in this way?

The perfectly curled hair—I can picture those little pink bristled rollers getting too hot in that steamy plastic dome that sat on every girl’s bathroom counter in the ‘50s. And the neat brows, smoothed just so with a tiny brush. My mom’s shirt buttoned all the way up against her long, white neck. Earlobes soft and clean, no jewels. One ring apiece. And those pleated fabric ice packs with the screw-off top, cubes inside crunching against one another as the user shifted it around in search of a colder arrangement.

I’m a thrift store junkie and often there’s a box at the register filled with old family photos, dumped by the generation who can’t name the subjects anymore. Usually they are the really formal portraits, everyone coiffed and serious as they held steady for the countdown, and you can’t help but feel a little sad at where they ended up. I wonder about those images, with so many tales behind them. I’ve heard of people hanging them in their homes as “adopted families,” naming each person, renewing them with made-up histories. This is Uncle Fred, in sales, a bit of a drinker but good-hearted, and Aunt Martha, who loved to tell an obvious fib or two at the holiday table to make the kids laugh. That’s kind of sweet.

I’ve never been tempted to take those images home. But I think if I saw this one in one of those boxes, I’d snap it up. The dramatic sisters, in the bathroom, posing, their lives ahead of them, a story between them.

Lessons from the Witch Tree

Photograph of a thin, coppery strand of gold fairy lights against a dark background.

A few years ago, I decided to buy a Christmas tree. I’m culturally Jewish, conceptually agnostic, and ritually a bit of a witch, but a lighted tree is a lighted tree no matter what you believe. I drove to my local big-box store and examined probably 30 or 40 different options in every size and color. There were classic plastic firs, 8-foot-tall LED eyesores, and tastefully restrained options in monochrome silver and gold. All the trees felt festive, in their own way. All of them were fun. So what did I leave with?

This.

Colored pencil drawing of a spindly, barren, dark-brown artificial tree on a square base.
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Swing and a Miss

Former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor died on Friday. This essay regarding her influence on American educational standards originally ran on May 12, 2011, but today it may be more timely than ever. Specific temporal references (e.g., “seven or eight years ago,” “last week,” “the current”) remain the same as in the original post.

One morning seven or eight years ago, I was part of a group that had an audience with a Supreme Court justice. The sponsor of the visit was a literary organization; a board member apparently knew someone who could arrange access. And so on a weekday morning a few minutes before 11, a couple of dozen of us found ourselves taking our seats in a chamber in the Supreme Court Building, wondering which justice would appear. We had just walked down one of those impossibly white, and marbled, and echoing hallways so common in the nation’s capital, the kind of setting that makes you want to believe in the impartiality of the execution of justice. Then a door to an adjoining chamber opened, and in walked Sandra Day O’Connor.

She talked for ten or fifteen minutes. I remember she said she liked Seabiscuit, the movie. She also said she liked The Da Vinci Code, the book. But pretty much everything else she said flew out of my head the moment she mentioned the words “swing vote.”

She had heard herself described as one, she said, but she professed having no idea as to what the term might mean. The Court consisted of nine justices. She was but one. How could her vote carry more meaning than any another justice’s?

She seemed genuinely perplexed. Maybe she was. More’s the pity. In any case, she then said she would take questions.

I was tempted, I admit. But then I considered the sponsoring organization; I didn’t want to ensure that its members would never be granted another Supreme Court audience. So I managed to restrain myself from asking Justice O’Connor the question that had been jackhammering my brain for the past quarter of an hour: “How do you sleep?” Continue reading

Preserved Cognition in a Twinkling

Whenever someone ‘swears by’ an obscure vegetable or exercise practice for longevity or [shudder] ‘wellness’, I assume it occupies a ritualistic place in their lives. Magical thinking is a powerful phenomenon, and just as placebo effects are stronger when the ‘treatment’ involves something invasive like a sham surgery (as opposed to a sugar pill), health trends that involve bizarre behavior (rather than, say, walking more), attract fanaticism. That skepticism has largely immunized me against kooky health trends.

That is, until I started flashing obnoxious lights into my own eyes.

Alzheimer’s runs through my family, and while there are various risk factors you can work on, our most recent dementia sufferer has none of them (save for the genetic component). The idea that those pathologies would already be amassing in my brain by now unsettles me. Though drug treatments are finally gaining a tiny bit of traction after decades of failure, prevention is far more appealing.

That’s where the work of MIT’s Li-Heui Tsai found me. Her research is based on the observation that gamma brain waves in Alzheimer’s patients (particularly those around a 40Hz frequency) are much less powerful than in healthy people. The neurons don’t fire as much in synchrony. So it would stand to reason that whatever gamma waves are for would be impaired.

Of course, in these degenerative diseases basically everything falls apart eventually, but the gamma waves are compromised very early.

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The Stubbornness of Women

Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592), Public Domain Review


For reasons I didn’t fully understand myself (marriage? the cat? surely someone or something else was to blame), I was feeling more than usually lazy, or maybe just unwilling to tolerate the discomfort of writing. It felt like a dangerous malaise, and the only remedy I could think of was to try to soak up some other people’s bravery. So a couple of months ago, I asked our Ann for her recommendations of favorite essayists.

She recommended Montaigne: “I haven’t read him in a while but I loved him,” she wrote. “He was so smart and funny and open.” I trundled off to a used bookstore and picked up a copy of The Essays: A Selection, translated by M.A. Screech. I’m only about three quarters of the way through the book, but I’ve been taking notes and sending them to Ann as I go. She suggested they might make a decent post, strung together. So, in the provisional spirit of Montaigne, I share them with you, dear LWON readers.

10.29.23

To philosophize is to learn how to die

I read this essay while waiting for a big vegetable lasagna to bake. I was in the middle of Montaigne’s exhaustive list of ways to die (killed by a bump from a pig!) and his instructions to continuously keep death at the forefront of our minds, when the timer beeped.

I went to pull the lasagna out and dumped the whole thing upside down onto the oven door, barely missing my feet. After screaming for help, then scooping the charred noodles back into the dish, I went back to the couch and read the following: “I want death to find me planting my cabbages, neither worrying about it nor the unfinished gardening.” The lasagna looked terrible but tasted great.

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How to Visit a Natural History Museum

I go to a lot of natural history museums. Something about all those pretty rocks and dead animals, and the chance that I might see something I’ve never seen before or learn something new—I can’t resist it. In the last three years, I’ve been to at least 15 natural history museums on two continents. Here’s some of the stuff I’ve learned.

[Ed. note: This was first published 10/29/2012. Helen is a pretty redoubtable learner and has certainly been to more museums on more continents and learned more stuff since. But this will do for now.]

1. Don’t try to see everything.

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