2021: Bragging

2021 was 2021, but we found things even in 2021 life to be proud of. Being pragmatic, we aim low. Ben: – sort of taught my thirty-pound terrier/pug mix (who is also Jane’s dog’s doppeldogger) to skijor – with a group of fellow Olds, destroyed a group of local teenagers in a game of pickup basketball – plowed […]

Alligator Awesome

I know it’s not Friday, and we don’t really do a lot of penis posts any more. But I felt like with all the uncertainty in the world, I really wanted to revisit this post about alligator penises. It first ran in 2013. The alligator harvest at Louisiana’s Rockefeller Wildlife Refuge happened every September, so […]

Bad Science Poet

On September 4, 2014, LWON welcomed a new occasional contributor, Bad Science Poet. (Motto: “It’s not the science that’s bad—it’s the poetry!”™) The initial post (below) as well as subsequent contributions survive online. To this day, LWON hasn’t disavowed them. MAYBE, MAYBE NOT Is that uncertainty I see? Its position known to only me? Is […]

The Rooster and the Puppy

A version of this post first ran in 2013. In 2006, a puppy came to live on a small farm in Colorado. His name was Oskar, and he was the runt of the litter. Oskar was a playful little guy, but on one fateful autumn day, he would learn that he was living in the […]

10,000 Hours of Midlife Crisis

It’s been said and often quoted that 10,000 hours of doing anything will make you a master. Never mind the squishy definition of mastery that makes it apocryphal, I believe it. When the term mastery is used, I figure it’s not that you’ve risen flawlessly to becoming a great chef or engineer, but that you’ve […]

Snark Week: Literally the Most Terrifying Creature on Earth

Imagine I was to describe a creature to you. Something truly terrifying. Something out of a nightmare that no amount of drunken elves could wash away. It’s small enough to hide almost anywhere in your house but big enough to crawl up onto your bed at night. It drools, shits and pisses everywhere it goes. […]

Snark Week: Every Other Creeping Thing Besides Us

You know what I have a problem with? Every creature but us. With their membranes and slotted eyeballs, they make almost no sense. I couldn’t know a speck of what a chicken knows, or how to see through the eyes of a millipede as it clatters over fallen leaves. I can write as many times […]