Spider Dysmorphic Disorder and Me

It’s spider season here on Knifecrime Island, but it looks like I’ve escaped this autumn’s offerings. At least that’s what I tell myself smugly as I prepare my first cup of coffee in the British predawn pitchdark of 6:39 am. Anyone who’s ever watched a horror movie is already reading through thinly slatted fingers. Humming […]

Waking Up is Hard to Do

Different people wake up differently. My husband instantly transitions from a deep dark unconsciousness to crisp, bright alertness as if a switch has been flipped. I…do not. For me, waking is a mysterious, confusing, and generally quite extended process, involving the gradual understanding that the reality I have been inhabiting for some time—years maybe?—is in […]

Do Not Be Ashamed of Your Easy Tears

Yesterday I woke up, after sleeping in, to the sound of my husband and 7-year-old son yelling at the screen during the Women’s World Cup final. I came downstairs in time to watch the end, and soon enough I was crying like anything, even though I am not a Sports Person. There was just so […]

Less Harm

I grew up with guns. Who didn’t? We had Han Solo blasters and rifles that shot little copper pellets ducks would eat and die from. My dad kept an assortment of firearms, defense weapons, hunting rifles, a couple shotguns for when we went out for rabbit or quail. He never made a big deal out […]

Redux: Dolphins–Largely Unexceptional

There is a hyper-intelligent mammal in the oceans with whom we might communicate if only we were a more empathetic and patient species. This is the unspoken assumption behind most coverage I see of dolphins. But since 2013, when I read the book reviewed below, I view those ideas in a completely different light. One […]

Impossible Feats of Strength and Endurance

On January 9, I went to the gym and did a chin up. Here’s what should have happened next: The clouds should have parted to allow a single beam of light to cast its golden glow on my body. Winged trumpeters should have surrounded me. Confetti should have rained from the sky. A flash mob […]

Missing Pieces

My aunt is standing in front of the book shelf scrutinizing two rows of photos. It’s 1 a.m., and a little while ago I was dead asleep. But now here I am, awake, because here she is, standing in her pajamas with her hands pressed into her back, looking hard at faces in the frames. […]