Gesundheit

These thoughts on sneezing first ran back in October 2015, and I loved the responses. Feel free to share more examples of achoo styles from friends and family! —— When we were kids, my brother was the sneezer of all sneezers. There was never just one, or even two or three. It was always 17. […]

It’s Snark Week.

We here at LWON aren’t opposed to a little snark now and then. In our annual homage to SHARK WEEK, we give the gentlest creatures daggers for teeth or in some other way flip them on their funny little heads. We embrace the stinky and dis the adorable. We make stuff up without apology. We […]

It’s ATACAMA WEEK! (Because we can.)

In a celebration of a weird place few people go, except, apparently, People of LWON, we bring you Atacama Week. The Atacama Desert is not a popular destination-wedding spot or a favorite girls’ weekend locale. I doubt anyone has thrown a bachelor party in the Atacama–although NOW I’ll bet someone will–and it’s rarely picked for […]

A Little Less than Free

The kids across the street are my special little pals. They climb all over me and believe the lies I tell them. We wrestle, take walks, get ice cream, talk about poop. I really love these two little guys—I’ve known them their whole lives–and I think they love me, too. It would be interesting to […]

Don’t Eat This

Here’s what I remember eating as a kid: Oscar Mayer bologna and American cheese (the individually wrapped slices) on white bread. Peanut butter and jelly on white bread. Honey and butter (yup!) on white bread. Grilled American cheese on white toast. Hot dogs on white buns. Deli ham on big puffy white Kaiser rolls. Why […]

The End Can Be Like This

This piece first ran a few years back around Mothers’ Day. It’s nearly time again to celebrate our moms. I miss mine so very much. My mother was dying. It was time to get ready. First came the visit to a funeral home where we walked among the coffins as if shopping for a new […]

This is a Post About Porcupines

Not every juicy morsel works in every recipe. As a writer, I often come across something meaty, think, HUH! and then drag the link to a rarely visited desktop folder because, you know, I’m not writing a piece about using a dildo in zero gravity. (This time.) (Note to self: Pitch story on space-appropriate sex […]