The Last Word On Nothing

For the past month or so I have been in Argentina at Punta Tombo, a large colony of Magellanic penguins. Punta Tombo is not without its pleasures–how could one fail to enjoy spending hours a day with penguins?–but hanging over everything we do is the grim fact that the colony is declining. Since 1987, when researchers started to keep track, the number of active nests has decreased by about 60%.

It might be tempting then to think the Magellanic penguin is doomed. In fact it is not, or does not seem to be. Colonies north of Punta Tombo are growing at astonishing rates. Colonies south of Punta Tombo appear to be stable. It is just Punta Tombo and a few nearby smaller colonies–Punta Clara, Cabo Dos Bahias, others–that are experiencing such steady drops. The working hypothesis for these drops is that when penguins started to breed at Punta Tombo in the early 1900s, they were close to fish at a crucial time of year, when they have to feed their chicks. Now, owing to climate change or human fisheries or some combination of those factors or something else, the fish are no longer quite so close to Punta Tombo.

Sometimes when I walk back to our field house at the end of the day, I wonder why the penguins here don’t just leave and go to one of those colonies that is doing better. It’s not like they would have to travel so very far; and they’re quite good at swimming.

I was on one such walk when I came upon this fellow standing outside his nest. He happened to have a flipper band, so I know a little more about him than I do about the average penguin. I know, for instance, that he is twenty-one years of age. I know he hatched at Punta Tombo and came back to breed when he was four years of age. (Penguins have a high degree of site fidelity.) I know he had a mate for a few years and raised some chicks with her, but then she moved on or died. I know that since then he has been alone. Given how male-biased the sex ratio is at Punta Tombo, I know he will most likely never have a mate again.

I dropped down to my knees and took a few pictures of him. He opened his eyes a touch and gave me the once over before closing them again. The wind blew and he rocked a little. He looked perfectly contented, while all around him other penguins carried on. I left him to it. No matter the vagaries and uncertainties of the world, every year he comes back to his little patch of earth. This is his home place. This is what he knows, and for him it is enough.

My father and I spent many of my childhood summers canoeing Ontario’s lake systems, counting moose and camping under the stars. Then I got into my teenage years and he saw my brain go into risk-seeking mode; We switched to whitewater. We paddled Northern rivers in areas where there were so many mosquitoes that, statistically, they could not all land at once. We saw caribou and muskoxen and the sorbet-coloured Smoking Hills. We wrapped our canoe around rocks and paddled to the Arctic Ocean.

So when The Canadian Canoe Museum announced it had opened a grand new facility, that little three-and-a-half hour drive from Ottawa to Peterborough, Ontario wasn’t going to get in our way. It was enough advertising for us to hear that you can walk in the front of the museum and canoe out the back.

We (me, Pete, the baby) have had a wicked mystery cold going for 10 days and counting, and have reached the point where we can’t remember not being sick — have we ever gone anywhere, done anything? Adding to our dismal mood, arborists came to cut down the majestic walnut tree that has provided us with shade and comfort and more birdsongs than I bothered to count — I regret that now — for six years now. Half the tree had died from mysterious causes, leaving the whole dangerously unstable. It all feels too ominously symbolic to dwell on in this week of all weeks, so I am taking comfort where I can find it (including from Kate’s wise post last Friday). One of the things I find comforting is the good people can do when they work together toward a worthy goal, like playing a piece of music or electing a reasonable fucking person to lead the country. Anyway. This post first ran in November 2022.

My grandmother used to take me to master classes at the Music Academy of the West in Santa Barbara, where young musicians came from all over the world to train. After buying our $10 tickets, we’d stand in the line of mostly senior citizens waiting for the doors to open. I’d hold her hand and rest my head on her shoulder, inhaling her Obsession perfume.

Nana’s mother didn’t let her listen to music of any kind, growing up, so as an adult she listened constantly to classical music and jazz, taught herself to play cello and taught her children and grandchildren to love music too. We usually sat in the first or second row, close enough to hear the academy students breathing and their shoes squeaking. Barely-out-of-college opera singers wiped their sweaty hands on their pants and pianists dropped their sheet music. Then the teacher would arrive, the students would pull themselves together, and they’d get to work. 

These students were very, very good. But as we listened, their instructors made small adjustments that transformed their performances from good to shiver-worthy, perfect.